1.02---Bertie-is-in-Love.srt Italian (it) subtitles
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Ah, Jeeves, how is he this morning?
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Distressingly wilful, sir.
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Look on the bright side,
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think of the goose we've done ourselves by
nannying the beast
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until Aunt Agatha has finished her inspection
of the continent.
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True, sir. Erm...
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Pardon me for asking, sir, are you going to
appear in public in those garments?
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Well, certainly, Jeeves. What, a bit vivid,
do you think?
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Not necessarily, sir. I am told that Mr
Freddie "He's a Riot" Flowerdew
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often appears on the music hall stage in
comparable attire, but...
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No, no, no! No buts, Jeeves, I happen to think
very highly of them.
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Now then... Yes, we must be making tracks, I
tee off at 11 .30.
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- Good luck today, sir. - Oh, thank you, Jarvis.
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Jeeves, I think today you will be proud to see
the young master sail through
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to the quarterfinals at least of the Drones
Club annual knockout golf tournament.
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Ah, this is indeed good news, sir.
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You see, Jeeves, my match is against Barmy
Fotheringay Phipps,
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and being drawn against him is the golfing
equivalent of a walkover.
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I see, sir.
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00:03:02,160 --> 00:03:06,233
I hope Bobbie Wickham will be amazed at my
exploits on the golf course today.
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May I enquire, sir, why you are so desirous
of impressing Miss Wickham?
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Didn't I tell you, Jeeves? I'm in love.
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With Miss Wickham, sir?
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There's no need to say it like that. You're
wrong about Miss Wickham, you know.
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If you say so, sir.
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Right, Jeeves, this is the time for plain
speaking.
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Just what exactly is your kick against Miss
Wickham? I insist.
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Well, sir, although Miss Wickham is a very
charming young lady,
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exactly, Jeeves! You speak an imperial court.
What eyes!
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- Yes, sir. - What hair!
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- Very true, sir. - What... luckiness!
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- Precisely, sir. - What do you mean,
"precisely, sir"?
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It is that very quality of espiegl<i>é</i>rie which
debars Miss Wickham from being
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a matrimonial prospect for a gentleman of
your description.
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00:04:09,320 --> 00:04:11,788
What do you mean, "a gentleman of my
description"?
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00:04:11,880 --> 00:04:15,031
Miss Wickham, in my opinion, sir, is too
frivolous.
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Whenever I see Miss Wickham, I know that
trouble cannot be far behind.
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To qualify as Miss Wickham's husband, a
gentleman should be possessed
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of a commanding personality and considerable
strength of character.
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Exactly, Jeeves! Condemned out of your own
mouth.
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- What ho, Bobbie, Barmy! - Hello, Bertie!
Didn't know you'd arrived.
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Well, I haven't. Till now, of course.
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I didn't arrive somewhere once. It was an
extraordinary thing.
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- Are you in mourning for someone - Yes, rather
natty, eh?
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00:04:49,480 --> 00:04:53,439
Jeeves doesn't like them, but he's notoriously
hidebound over leg-wear.
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I was on my way there and something happened.
I can't remember what.
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- Will you look after the hound? - Of course.
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- Looking forward to the match, Barmy? - I'll
say!
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00:05:02,920 --> 00:05:05,832
I've got this wonderful new gadget from
Lillywhite's.
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00:05:05,920 --> 00:05:09,071
You wind it up, clip it on your club,
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and it buzzes to tell you when to start
your downswing!
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Oh.
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Good shot, Barmy!
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Thank you, Bertie.
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- Have you been taking lessons? - No, it's
this whatsit.
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- Works marvellously, don't you think? -
It's very good, yes!
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Mclntosh, quiet!
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00:06:09,480 --> 00:06:12,916
Mclntosh! Sorry, Bertie!
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Sorry, sorry!
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00:06:20,520 --> 00:06:22,875
- Poor Bertie! - Oh, Bertie!
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Right, now, what I'm going to do here,
Jeeves, is just keep it low,
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drill it straight out through the trees,
quail high.
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00:06:29,680 --> 00:06:32,194
- Indeed, sir? - Then dogleg it round
the wood,
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let it drift onto the green with backspin
to bring it level with the pin.
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It might even plop straight into the hole.
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00:06:38,320 --> 00:06:40,390
That would seem to be ideal, sir.
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00:06:40,480 --> 00:06:42,789
- It's finesse, you know. - Aptly put, sir.
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- Splendid shot, Barmy! - Good shot, Barmy!
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00:07:07,080 --> 00:07:09,878
Oh, Bertie, I'm sorry. Come here,
Mclntosh!
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00:07:09,960 --> 00:07:14,158
Perhaps we are not keeping our eye on
the ball with sufficient assiduity, sir.
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00:07:14,240 --> 00:07:17,755
It's the blasted dog! Every time I look
at the ball, it starts yapping!
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Good dog, Mclntosh, good dog.
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- Good shot, Bertie! - Thank you, Barmy
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aargh! Aargh!
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Oi!
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Oh, Mclntosh, it's not a bone! Come here,
come here!
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Mclntosh!
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Good boy!
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If you ask me, Jeeves, that animal is in
the pay of the Fotheringay Phippses.
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00:08:16,800 --> 00:08:19,314
There you are, Jeeves, the old touch
coming back.
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00:08:19,400 --> 00:08:21,436
Shall I put you down for a 12 there, sir?
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No! No! Nothing can make me disclose
my secret.
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00:08:29,680 --> 00:08:33,832
You have to tell us, Mother. Who is
Oriana's father?
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00:08:34,760 --> 00:08:39,276
- Never! - Yes, yes! Who is my father?
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Do you think I can go on living with this
hanging over me? It's a living hell...
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- I tell you! - Don't ee say nothing, Mrs
Warminster.
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What the devil has it got to do with you...
Old Elias?
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What ho, Lady Wickham! Hello, Sir
Cuthbert, Tuppy.
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How are you? I hear you made a dog's
breakfast of your golf this morning.
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00:09:02,920 --> 00:09:05,559
- Oh, he was an absolute scream! - Thank
you, Bobbie,
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00:09:05,640 --> 00:09:08,108
I shall try to be the game and popular
loser.
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Don't be such a stick, Bertie. it was fun!
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Golf isn't intended to be fun, Roberta.
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00:09:13,760 --> 00:09:17,469
We're just reading my new play, Mr
Wooster. Would you care to join us?
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- No, I've got to walk the hound. - I'll
come with you.
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00:09:20,800 --> 00:09:24,156
- Oh, who's going to read Oriana? - Won't
be long.
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- Could you read Oriana, Mr Glossop? - Oh,
right, yes. Erm...
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What the devil has it got to do with you,
Old Elias?
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He knows! He must know! How does he
know?
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00:09:35,520 --> 00:09:38,432
But to lose like that to Barmy, of all
people!
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They nearly died laughing in the
refreshment tent.
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- It's no laughing matter, young
Bobbie. - No, I know, Bertie, but I've
got an idea.
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I warn you, what I'm about to say
is going to make you look pretty silly.
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- Indeed, sir. - This morning, if I
remember rightly,
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you stated that Miss Wickham was
frivolous, volatile,
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00:10:00,800 --> 00:10:04,315
and generally lacking in
seriousness, am I correct?
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00:10:04,400 --> 00:10:07,233
- Quite correct, sir. - Well, I went
for a walk
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00:10:07,320 --> 00:10:11,029
with Miss Wickham and she has
suggested to me the brainiest scheme
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00:10:11,120 --> 00:10:14,590
for getting back at young Barmy that
anyone could possibly imagine.
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00:10:14,680 --> 00:10:16,511
- Getting back at him, sir? - Mm.
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Ahem. One wonders if this is quite
the sporting spirit.
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- Eh? - One merely wonders, sir.
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00:10:22,400 --> 00:10:25,153
No, no, no! This is the Wooster
spirit, Jeeves.
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00:10:25,240 --> 00:10:29,153
Unsporting would be me reporting that
blasted buzzer thing to the committee.
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- No, this is strictly man-to-man. -
Very good, sir.
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00:10:32,560 --> 00:10:37,031
Anyway, it appears that at the
school where Miss Wickham was
educated,
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it was from time to time necessary
for the right-thinking element
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to slip one over certain of the baser
sort.
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00:10:43,480 --> 00:10:46,358
Do you know what they did, Jeeves?
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00:10:46,440 --> 00:10:49,159
- No, sir, I don't. - They used to
take a long stick -
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00:10:49,240 --> 00:10:53,279
and follow me closely here, Jeeves -
they used to attach a darning needle
to it.
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00:10:53,360 --> 00:10:56,716
Then, at dead of night, they would
sneak privily
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00:10:56,800 --> 00:10:58,995
into the party of the second part's
cubicle,
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00:10:59,080 --> 00:11:01,992
and they would poke the needle
through the bedclothes
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00:11:02,080 --> 00:11:04,674
and puncture the water bottle!
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Girls are so much subtler in these
matters than boys, Jeeves.
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00:11:08,040 --> 00:11:13,797
- I'm sure you must be right, sir. -
This is the girl that you call
frivolous!
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00:11:13,880 --> 00:11:15,233
Yes, sir, I do believe...
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00:11:15,320 --> 00:11:18,790
anyone who can think up a wheeze
like that is my idea of a helpmeet.
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00:11:18,880 --> 00:11:21,519
Now, have you got any idea where
young Barmy sleeps?
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00:11:21,600 --> 00:11:24,751
- I believe he's in the Moat Room,
sir. - Hm.
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00:11:36,360 --> 00:11:44,360
♪ Because you come to me with
naught save love
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♪ And hold my hand and lift mine
eyes above
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00:11:53,080 --> 00:11:59,758
♪ A wider world of hope and joy I
see
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00:11:59,840 --> 00:12:07,840
♪ Because you come to me
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00:12:16,760 --> 00:12:23,518
♪ Because you speak to me in
accents sweet
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00:12:23,600 --> 00:12:29,994
♪ I find the roses waking round my
feet... ♪
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00:12:31,160 --> 00:12:34,152
- Jeeves? - Yes, sir.
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00:12:34,240 --> 00:12:38,392
Could you get me a darning needle?
And a bit of stick and some string?
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00:12:38,480 --> 00:12:42,314
♪ Because
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00:12:42,400 --> 00:12:44,470
♪ You speak to
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♪ Meeeeeeeeee!
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♪ Because God made thee mine
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00:13:01,640 --> 00:13:06,589
♪ I'll cherish thee
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00:13:06,680 --> 00:13:11,708
♪ Through light and darkness,
through all time... ♪
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00:13:22,000 --> 00:13:30,000
♪ Because God made thee mine ♪
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00:13:43,240 --> 00:13:47,472
Most moving, most moving! See, she
weeps.
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00:13:47,560 --> 00:13:51,872
- Oh, you were wonderful, wonderful!
- It reminds us of old country.
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00:13:53,040 --> 00:13:56,350
My wife does not like to be reminded
of old country.
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00:13:56,440 --> 00:13:58,715
Thank you so much, Miss Bellinger.
151
Sir Cuthbert and I are so starved of
true culture, buried down here in the
country.
152
- Oh, too kind, Lady Wickham! - Damn
fine! Tune you can hum,
153
- tap your foot to, or whistle! - It's
absolutely... Well, it's absolutely!
154
Miss Bellinger, when you were last at
La Scala, what was it you sang?
155
- What do you think, Bertie? - Well...
156
Absolutely! What a wonderful... noise
she makes.
157
It's amazing. I've only known her a
couple of weeks
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- mm. - I think I'm in love, Bertie.
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Oh, steady the buffs!
160
Whenever my wife thinks of Birmania,
she weeps. Every time!
161
Hello Professor Cluj, wasn't she
wonderful?
162
It was good times in old country.
163
At university, I was professor of
Slavonic languages.
164
But we leave all behind. Our house in
Stanislav Avenue,
165
our estate in the countryside. Several
children.
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- Mm, dashed awkward! - No, no, no, no!
ls better here.
167
Birmania is dump!
168
Oh! You were wonderful, darling!
169
I mean, as far as I can see, the trick
in playing the piano
170
is to get one hand to do one thing,
while the other one's... doing
something else.
171
- Well, yes... - I can do that with a
knife and fork,
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- so I don't see why... - Yes, but Mr
Fotheringay Phipps...
173
- Good night, Lady Wickham. - Good
night, Mr Wooster.
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- I do hope you'll be quite
comfortable. - Oh, I'm sure I will.
Good night, Barmy.
175
Sleep well.
176
- Good night, all! - Good night, Bertie.
177
- Good night. - Good night.
178
- Who this? - What is this come to us?
179
- You? - Ha, right, ha.
180
- Are you mad or what, man? - No, no,
I... thought you were Barmy.
181
- You thought I am barmy? - Vladimir,
the bed is wet! Look!
182
- Well, it was a joke, you see. - Where
is your room, lu-na-tic?
183
Mine? Well, it's just above yours, the
Clock Room.
184
Thank you, we will find it. Put on your
robe, Aneta. Turn your back, lunatic!
185
We will spend the finish of the night
in your bed. You may sleep here. Come.
186
No, but...
187
Jeeves, you have blundered grieviously.
188
- Sir? - Barmy was not sleeping in this
room.
189
This was Professor Cluj and his wife.
190
Yes, sir. Mr Fotheringay Phipps kindly
exchanged rooms with them
191
after Madama Cluj complained that their
room reminded her of her homeland, sir.
192
Oh. And when did you discover this?
193
- Er, late last night, sir. - Late last
night?
194
And you cold-bloodedly stood by and let
me walk to my certain doom?
195
Yes, sir. I thought that, on
reflection, you might prefer
196
that your relationship with the
Wickham family remained a distant one.
197
A distant one? I'm about to propose to
the daughter of the house this very a.m.
198
Very good, sir.
199
Shall I lay out our hound's tooth check
suit, sir, for the journey?
200
- What journey? - To London, sir.
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00:13:58,800 --> 00:14:03,749
Lady Wickham has asked Mr Fotheringay
Phipps to leave.
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00:14:03,840 --> 00:14:07,719
Asked him to leave?
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00:14:07,800 --> 00:14:13,352
During the night, sir, when Professor
and Madam Cluj were in your bed,
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00:14:13,440 --> 00:14:17,638
he entered their room and pierced their
hot-water bottle with a sharp implement.
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00:14:17,720 --> 00:14:20,359
Extraordinary coincidence, Jeeves.
Barmy getting the same idea as I did.
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00:14:20,440 --> 00:14:24,592
The concatenation of circumstance you
describe was not entirely unforeseen.
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00:14:24,680 --> 00:14:27,274
It appears that he received the
suggestion from the young lady.
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00:14:27,360 --> 00:14:30,193
- From Miss Wickham? - Yes, sir.
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00:14:30,280 --> 00:14:31,998
You mean, at the same time that she was
putting me up to the scheme
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00:14:32,080 --> 00:14:35,834
of puncturing Barmy's hot-water bottle,
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00:14:35,920 --> 00:14:38,434
she was tipping Barmy off to puncturing
mine?
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00:14:38,520 --> 00:14:40,795
Ahem. She's a young lady with a keen
sense of humour, sir.
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00:14:40,880 --> 00:14:45,351
- You're cold, sir? - Just shivering, Jeeves.
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00:14:45,440 --> 00:14:49,513
The occurrence, if I may take the
liberty of saying so, sir,
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00:14:49,600 --> 00:14:53,149
may lend colour to the view which I put
forward yesterday, that Miss Wickham,
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00:14:53,240 --> 00:14:57,438
though in many respects a charming young
lady,
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00:14:57,520 --> 00:14:59,750
- say no more, Jeeves. Love is dead. -
Very good, sir.
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00:15:04,120 --> 00:15:07,430
♪ Now there's a good ship HMS Cock Robin
219
00:15:07,520 --> 00:15:11,149
♪ On her home trip Up and down she's bobbin'
220
00:15:11,240 --> 00:15:16,030
♪ Though the crew's pretty tough the sea
is so rough
221
00:15:16,120 --> 00:15:18,793
♪ They're all fed up and say that they've
had more than enough
222
00:15:18,880 --> 00:15:21,792
♪ She's got a father he's an able seaman
223
00:15:21,880 --> 00:15:24,713
♪ And they call him Red-Haired Tom
224
00:15:24,800 --> 00:15:29,032
♪ I wire to say I'll meet you and with
your friends I'll treat you
225
00:15:29,120 --> 00:15:30,917
♪ So who do you think I've had a message
from?
226
00:15:31,000 --> 00:15:33,594
- Do you like that song, Jeeves? - Well, sir...
227
00:15:33,680 --> 00:15:35,910
It's called 47 Ginger-Headed Sailors.
It's all the rage at the Drones at the moment.
228
00:17:30,280 --> 00:17:33,238
I can't say that I'm surprised to hear
that, sir.
229
00:17:44,960 --> 00:17:47,349
♪ 47 ginger-headed sailors coming home
across the briny sea
230
00:17:47,440 --> 00:17:52,594
♪ When the anchor's weighed and the
journey's made
231
00:17:53,180 --> 00:18:00,097
♪ Yes, they'll start the party with a... ♪
232
00:18:00,900 --> 00:18:05,257
♪ ..Hey ho me hearty!
233
00:18:05,340 --> 00:18:08,969
♪ 47 ginger-headed sailors
234
00:18:09,060 --> 00:18:15,454
♪ You can bet you're going to hear them
when they hail us... ♪
235
00:18:17,100 --> 00:18:23,494
A letter for Mr Wooster
236
00:18:26,900 --> 00:18:28,891
♪ An old maid down in Devon said "My
idea of heaven
237
00:18:37,260 --> 00:18:40,252
♪ ls 47 ginger-headed sailors" ♪
238
00:18:40,340 --> 00:18:43,252
Really speaks to me, that song, Jeeves.
239
00:18:43,340 --> 00:18:45,774
I'm sorry to hear that, sir.
240
00:18:45,860 --> 00:18:49,535
- Like to hear the rest of it? - I won't
put you to any trouble, sir.
241
00:18:49,620 --> 00:18:55,536
This note was delivered for you by hand
a few moments ago.
242
00:18:55,620 --> 00:18:57,895
Oh. Well at least Mclntosh likes my
singing.
243
00:18:57,980 --> 00:19:02,417
I'm really going to miss the little fella
when Aunt Agatha gets back today.
244
00:19:02,500 --> 00:19:07,574
- Well, of all the bally nerve, Jeeves. - Sir?
245
00:19:07,660 --> 00:19:10,652
After everything she did to us last
weekend!
246
00:19:10,740 --> 00:19:14,528
- She wants us to give her lunch today. - Sir?
247
00:19:14,620 --> 00:19:19,535
Miss Wickham, Jeeves, and two of her
friends. She even specifies the menu.
248
00:19:19,620 --> 00:19:21,895
- Bleeurgh! - Indeed, sir?
249
00:19:23,380 --> 00:19:26,975
Roly-poly pudding with jam, oysters, ice
cream and plenty of chocolate.
250
00:19:27,060 --> 00:19:29,016
Must be on some kind of diet.
251
00:19:29,100 --> 00:19:32,092
I shall have to go and remonstrate with her.
252
00:19:32,180 --> 00:19:33,693
Very good. I shall go and purchase the comestibles.
253
00:19:33,780 --> 00:19:38,615
By no means, Jeeves! By no means! I can be
chilled steel, you know.
254
00:19:38,700 --> 00:19:43,057
Now, after everything you've done to me, I
don't see how you have the...
255
00:19:43,140 --> 00:19:47,292
- the gall... - Don't be such a stick, Bertie.
256
00:19:47,380 --> 00:19:51,373
- It's all right about lunch, is it? - No, it
dashed well is not all right.
257
00:19:51,460 --> 00:19:55,419
I can't give Mr Blumenfield lunch here. Look,
the house is being decorated.
258
00:19:55,500 --> 00:19:58,173
- Well, restaurants are open. - I never
thought you were small-minded.
259
00:19:59,500 --> 00:20:03,971
- Careful of those mouldings, George. -
Small-minded?
260
00:20:04,060 --> 00:20:06,255
Mr Blumenfield's a fearfully important
Broadway producer.
261
00:20:06,340 --> 00:20:08,774
I've got to read Mummy's play to him after
lunch. I can't do it in a restaurant.
262
00:20:08,860 --> 00:20:12,057
Yes, but why does he want jam roly-poly and
oysters?
263
00:20:14,060 --> 00:20:17,257
He doesn't, that's for his son. Mr
Blumenfield always banks on his verdict.
264
00:20:17,340 --> 00:20:20,650
He says an eight-year-old's intelligence is
equal to a Broadway audience's.
265
00:20:20,740 --> 00:20:24,653
Mm. Well, I'm not going sit around while you
read your mother's dratted play.
266
00:20:24,740 --> 00:20:27,174
- You can have lunch at the club, then. - No,
no, no!
267
00:20:27,260 --> 00:20:33,130
Oh, Bertie, you're such a dear.
268
00:20:35,300 --> 00:20:39,657
- Help me. Brandon! He's armed. - Don't 'ee
come nigh me, young sir.
269
00:20:39,740 --> 00:20:43,050
You cur! Oh!
270
00:20:43,140 --> 00:20:45,938
If you don't take your hands off that young
woman!
271
00:20:46,020 --> 00:20:49,899
- Ahem. What then, what'll 'ee do... - Daddy!
272
00:20:49,980 --> 00:20:53,495
...to Old Elias. Happen he'll take thy riding
crop to 'im like the old maister...
273
00:20:53,580 --> 00:20:56,652
- Daddy! - ..thy faither be used to do?
274
00:20:56,740 --> 00:21:00,779
Daddy! The dog's so cute, isn't he?
275
00:21:00,860 --> 00:21:04,535
Don't you like the play, son?
276
00:21:04,620 --> 00:21:07,657
Sure, I like it fine, but the dog's cuter.
277
00:21:07,740 --> 00:21:12,131
Huh huh. Yeah, sure! Sure he is! Ha ha!
278
00:21:12,220 --> 00:21:15,417
Guess what? I'm going to the opera tonight.
279
00:21:16,900 --> 00:21:23,009
- The opera, Tuppy? - Cora's singing in
The... Barber of Figaro.
280
00:21:23,100 --> 00:21:26,058
- Is that the one about the pyramids? -
Sounds like it, by the name.
281
00:21:26,140 --> 00:21:28,131
I've never been to the opera before. Would
you like to come with me, Bertie?
282
00:21:28,220 --> 00:21:29,938
- Er, well... - Excuse me, sir,
283
00:21:30,020 --> 00:21:33,057
there's a Miss Wickham for you on the phone.
284
00:21:33,140 --> 00:21:35,556
Oh, righto.
285
00:21:35,580 --> 00:21:36,933
Yes? Bobbie!
286
00:21:37,020 --> 00:21:39,818
Yes, good.
287
00:21:39,900 --> 00:21:43,370
You've done what?
288
00:21:45,100 --> 00:21:47,773
But why? She'll kill me!
289
00:21:47,860 --> 00:21:49,373
- Jeeves! - I couldn't stop her, sir.
290
00:21:49,460 --> 00:21:53,499
Pah! Do you mean to say that you stood by and
allowed
291
00:21:53,580 --> 00:21:56,492
Bobbie Wickham to make a present of my
aunt's dog to some perfect stranger?
292
00:21:56,580 --> 00:21:59,617
You know how headstrong a young lady she can
be, sir.
293
00:21:59,700 --> 00:22:06,173
What is she, mad?
294
00:22:06,260 --> 00:22:09,457
The child took a fancy to the animal, sir.
295
00:22:09,540 --> 00:22:11,849
In order to ingratiate herself to the boy's
father, she presented it to him.
296
00:22:11,940 --> 00:22:14,818
I'm lost, Jeeves! Sunk! Aunt Agatha is due
here at six o'clock!
297
00:22:14,900 --> 00:22:19,371
- May I propose a course of action, sir? -
Anything, Jeeves, anything!
298
00:22:19,460 --> 00:22:22,133
Mr Blumenfield and the young gentleman are
attending
299
00:22:22,220 --> 00:22:28,932
a motion picture performance this afternoon.
300
00:22:29,020 --> 00:22:31,215
They will not return to their hotel until five
o'clock,
301
00:22:32,580 --> 00:22:34,696
when Miss Wickham will call to sign
the contract for Lady Wickham's play.
302
00:22:34,780 --> 00:22:37,578
If they are delayed, she is to go
straight up to their suite and attend them.
303
00:22:37,660 --> 00:22:42,893
- Well, I don't see how that helps
us. - If you will bear with me, sir,
304
00:22:42,980 --> 00:22:46,859
our first requirement is for aniseed.
305
00:22:46,940 --> 00:22:49,249
- Aniseed? - To sprinkle on the
trousers, sir.
306
00:22:49,340 --> 00:22:53,333
Aniseed is extensively used in the
dognapping industry.
307
00:22:53,420 --> 00:22:57,971
- Oh, I didn't know that. - Oh, yes
indeed, sir.
308
00:22:58,060 --> 00:23:02,292
Oi! Come out of there! Oi!
309
00:23:02,380 --> 00:23:05,611
Now, sir, you know how much the dog
Mclntosh enjoys your singing...
310
00:23:05,700 --> 00:23:09,898
It's all right, it's the trousers.
311
00:23:09,980 --> 00:23:14,610
♪ 47 ginger-headed sailors
312
00:23:14,700 --> 00:23:18,375
♪ You can bet you're going to hear
them when they hail us
313
00:23:18,460 --> 00:23:23,454
♪ When they step ashore there'll be a
mighty roar
314
00:23:23,540 --> 00:23:28,091
♪ From 47 ginger-headed sailors
315
00:23:28,180 --> 00:23:33,652
♪ 47 ginger-headed sailors... ♪
316
00:23:33,740 --> 00:23:36,812
Afternoon!
317
00:23:36,900 --> 00:23:39,334
♪ Bet you're going to hear them when
they hail us
318
00:23:39,420 --> 00:23:46,178
♪ And when they step ashore ♪
319
00:23:46,260 --> 00:23:49,172
Like a breeze, Jeeves, like a breeze!
320
00:23:49,260 --> 00:23:52,935
Now, put the pooch somewhere where my
trousers will cease to cast their spell.
321
00:23:53,020 --> 00:23:57,775
Tell me, Jeeves, were you always like
this, or did it come on suddenly?
322
00:23:57,860 --> 00:24:04,174
- Sir? - The brain. The grey matter.
323
00:24:04,260 --> 00:24:07,013
- Were you a brilliant child? - My
mother thought me intelligent, sir.
324
00:24:07,100 --> 00:24:09,739
Well, you can't go by that. My mother
thought me intelligent.
325
00:24:11,660 --> 00:24:13,289
- Who... Who is that, Jeeves? -
Probably Mr Blumenfield senior, sir.
326
00:24:13,313 --> 00:24:16,290
What?
327
00:24:16,860 --> 00:24:20,091
He telephoned a short while ago to
say he was about to pay you a call, sir.
328
00:24:26,100 --> 00:24:29,490
Well, Ooh! Great Scott, Jeeves! Get...
Get rid of him!
329
00:24:29,580 --> 00:24:34,131
- Jeeves! - I'll see what I can do,
sir.
330
00:24:34,220 --> 00:24:37,496
Right!
331
00:24:37,580 --> 00:24:42,415
- This guy Wooster, where is he? - I
could not say, sir.
332
00:24:42,500 --> 00:24:44,934
- He sneaked my son's dog. - Most
disturbing, sir.
333
00:24:45,020 --> 00:24:47,534
You don't know where he is? My boy
has his heart set on that little dog.
334
00:24:47,620 --> 00:24:49,576
If he doesn't get it back, he's gonna
turn right against that play.
335
00:24:57,220 --> 00:24:59,256
- What's that smell in here? - Erm,
aniseed, I suspect, sir.
336
00:25:00,140 --> 00:25:01,698
Mr Wooster likes to sprinkle it on
his trousers.
337
00:25:03,380 --> 00:25:05,336
- What the hell does he do that for?
- I could not say, sir.
338
00:25:06,780 --> 00:25:09,089
Mr Wooster is an eccentric.
339
00:25:14,300 --> 00:25:16,450
- You mean he's a loony? - Yes, sir.
340
00:25:16,540 --> 00:25:19,100
- Not, er, a dangerous...? - Yes, sir.
341
00:25:19,180 --> 00:25:24,493
With regard to the aniseed, sir, I
fancy I have now located it.
342
00:25:24,580 --> 00:25:27,299
Unless I am very much mistaken, it's
proceeding from behind this sofa.
343
00:25:27,380 --> 00:25:28,720
- No doubt Mr Wooster is sleeping
there. - Doing what?
344
00:25:28,744 --> 00:25:30,690
Sleeping, sir.
345
00:25:30,780 --> 00:25:34,659
Oh, my God!
346
00:25:34,740 --> 00:25:38,972
Would you like me to wake him up, sir?
347
00:25:39,060 --> 00:25:42,848
No, no! Just get me out of here alive,
that's all I ask.
348
00:25:42,940 --> 00:25:45,693
Very good, sir. I think I can do
better than that.
349
00:25:45,780 --> 00:25:48,135
- Hey! Here's a five pound note. -
Thank you very much indeed, sir.
350
00:25:48,220 --> 00:25:50,973
- Oh, good boy! - This way, sir.
351
00:25:51,060 --> 00:25:55,338
- Thank you. - Good afternoon, Mr
Blumenfield.
352
00:25:55,420 --> 00:25:59,299
- Jeeves! - Sir?
353
00:25:59,380 --> 00:26:03,578
- I can't believe it! - No, sir.
354
00:26:03,660 --> 00:26:06,652
Mr Wooster, sir!
355
00:26:06,740 --> 00:26:10,130
- Astra Hotel. Know where that is? -
Yes, sir.
356
00:26:10,220 --> 00:26:14,452
Quick, he's a lunatic!
357
00:26:14,540 --> 00:26:18,169
Stop! Stop!
358
00:26:18,260 --> 00:26:21,252
No! Stop!
359
00:26:21,340 --> 00:26:25,936
Aunt Agatha!
360
00:26:31,980 --> 00:26:34,255
Oh, er, ha ha, Aunt Agatha, you can't
go up to the flat.
361
00:26:47,740 --> 00:26:50,459
- Why? I trust Mclntosh is well. - No!
362
00:26:51,380 --> 00:26:54,736
- He isn't? - Well, yes, Mclntosh is
fine.
363
00:26:55,700 --> 00:26:59,215
- Are you coming in the lift? - Er, no.
No, but you can't go up there!
364
00:26:59,300 --> 00:27:01,814
No! No! No! Nobody...
365
00:27:01,900 --> 00:27:06,496
No! Look, Jeeves is in quarantine!
366
00:27:06,580 --> 00:27:08,093
Your mouth is hanging open again, Bertie.
367
00:27:08,180 --> 00:27:11,013
- I... - Ah, there he is!
368
00:27:11,100 --> 00:27:12,931
Come to mother, Mclntosh!
369
00:27:45,060 --> 00:27:47,938
How's my baby, then? Hmm?
370
00:27:48,020 --> 00:27:52,138
Mouth closed, Bertie!
371
00:27:53,660 --> 00:27:57,130
But, Jeeves, I...
372
00:27:58,220 --> 00:28:00,529
Master Blumenfield junior will not detect
that I have purchased another dog.
373
00:28:00,620 --> 00:28:05,136
Another dog?
374
00:28:05,220 --> 00:28:08,496
Except to the eye of love, sir, one
Aberdeen Terrier is much like another.
375
00:28:13,100 --> 00:28:17,616
♪ Non so piu cosa son, cosa faccio
376
00:28:19,580 --> 00:28:20,580
♪ Or di fuoco, or a sono di ghiaccio
377
00:28:20,620 --> 00:28:24,215
♪ Ogni donna cangiar di colore
378
00:28:24,300 --> 00:28:28,259
♪ Ogni donna mi fa palpitar
379
00:28:31,780 --> 00:28:34,578
♪ Ogni donna mi fa palpitar
380
00:28:34,660 --> 00:28:36,616
♪ Ogni donna mi fa palpitar
381
00:28:39,380 --> 00:28:43,259
♪ Solo ai nomi d'amor ♪
382
00:28:43,340 --> 00:28:47,731
- isn't she wonderful? - Stunning!
Stunning!
383
00:28:47,820 --> 00:28:52,098
Reminds me of that chap you used to play
rugby with. Um...
384
00:28:52,180 --> 00:28:55,616
- Oh, Buffy Trumpton. - That's it,
that's it.
385
00:28:55,700 --> 00:28:59,978
♪ Un desio... Un desio ch'io non posso
spiegar! ♪
386
00:29:00,060 --> 00:29:02,858
Oh, not really, just... something about
the trousers.
387
00:29:02,940 --> 00:29:06,012
♪ E, se non ho chi m'oda
388
00:29:06,100 --> 00:29:08,819
♪ Parlo d'amor con me!
389
00:29:08,900 --> 00:29:11,289
♪ Con me!
390
00:29:11,380 --> 00:29:15,089
♪ Parlo d'amor con me! ♪
391
00:29:15,180 --> 00:29:20,459
Bravo!
392
00:29:20,540 --> 00:29:24,294
Well, I told you I had a special reason.
Isn't she wonderful at the loud bits?
393
00:29:24,380 --> 00:29:27,690
- Oh, yes! - Absolutely!
394
00:29:27,780 --> 00:29:29,736
The thing is, Bertie, what with her
great soul and everything,
395
00:29:32,460 --> 00:29:34,337
she has this rather serious outlook on
life.
396
00:29:34,420 --> 00:29:36,297
I want you to back me up, let her know
I've got a serious mind and so forth.
397
00:29:37,420 --> 00:29:40,935
I didn't know you had any sort of mind.
398
00:29:41,020 --> 00:29:44,296
That is just the sort of remark we don't
want, thank you very much!
399
00:29:47,500 --> 00:29:52,858
Well, I suppose we'd better get
backstage and, er, meet her,
400
00:29:52,940 --> 00:29:57,138
- I think there's some more opera first.
- Surely not?
401
- Oh, yes. That was only Act I.
- Well, how many are there?
402
- Four. - Good God! Well! Well, of course.
Super.
403
What a treat!
404
Come on, Bertie, not much further.
405
- Oh, well done, splendid! - Yes, well done!
406
- Who is it? - It's Hildebrand, darling!
407
One moment, Hildebrand.
408
- Hildebrand? - Just shut up!
409
- Gentlemen. - Hello, Cora!
410
- You remember Bertie Wooster.
- What ho, Cora!
411
Good evening, Mr Wooster.
412
- Sorry. - Sorry.
413
- Topping show! - Why, thank you.
414
I did not know you were a devotee of the
opera, Mr Wooster.
415
Er, well, I saw Naughty Naughty at the
Hippodrome last year.
416
Did you really?
417
Hildebrand, I should be grateful if you do
not smoke a cigar in my dressing room.
418
- Oh. Ahem. - Thank you.
419
- Oh, he's so serious-minded, old Tuppy!
- I beg your pardon?
420
- Tuppy, serious-minded. Oh, Lord, yes.
- Indeed?
421
Mm, famous for it. I often say to him when
we're at the races
422
or shifting a few at the Troghouse,
423
"Tuppy, you are serious-minded, aren't
you?"
424
- Absolutely! - Mm.
425
- Well, that went pretty well, I thought.
- But how are you going to keep it up?
426
Ah, I have my long-term strategy. Do you
remember Beefy Bingham?
427
Yes, I ran into him the other day. He's a
parson now.
428
Yes, quite. Down in the East End. Thing
is, Cora's frightfully keen on good works.
429
So I've been helping Beefy out at the Lads'
Club he runs for the local toughs.
430
You know - cocoa and cribbage in the
reading room and what-not.
431
- I wondered where you'd been.
- Cora's promised to sing
432
at Beefy's next entertainment. And, mark
my devilish ingenuity, Bertie,
433
I'm going to sing too.
434
- How will that get you anywhere?
- Because I intend to sing a song
435
to prove once and for all that there are
great deeps in my nature.
436
Well, I'm not going to sing a mouldy old
comic song.
437
I'm going to sing about angels being lonely
and, well, all that kind of stuff.
438
Angels being lonely?
439
- You're not going to sing... Sonny Boy?
- I jolly well am!
440
♪ The angels grew lonely they took you
because they were lonely
441
♪ Now I'm lonely too, Sonny Boy ♪
442
I can't be responsible for Tuppy's affairs
of the heart.
443
You may be my favourite nephew...
444
- But Aunt Dahlia! - but he is your
friend, Bertie.
445
Up until three weeks ago, that blasted
Glossop was all over my daughter.
446
Haunting the house, lapping up daily
lunches,
447
dancing with her half the night, and so on.
448
Well, naturally, the poor kid imagined that
it was only a question of time
449
before he suggested they should feed for
life out of the same bucket.
450
And now he's gone and dropped Angela like
a hot brick.
451
00:29:58,020 --> 00:30:01,171
And I hear he's infatuated with some
singer.
452
00:30:06,660 --> 00:30:09,572
- Mm. Cora Bellinger. - How do you
know?
453
00:30:11,700 --> 00:30:14,578
- I've met her. - What's she like?
454
00:30:16,220 --> 00:30:18,176
Bit on the lines of the Albert Hall.
455
00:30:21,620 --> 00:30:25,010
I want this Bellinger business broken
up, Bertie.
456
00:30:25,820 --> 00:30:27,811
A little thing like this should be
child's play to Jeeves...
457
00:30:27,900 --> 00:30:30,368
- Ahem. - ..from all I hear.
458
00:30:30,460 --> 00:30:32,894
From what Mr Wooster has told me of
the lady,
459
00:30:38,260 --> 00:30:40,216
should Miss Bellinger witness Mr Glossop
appearing to disadvantage
460
00:30:44,060 --> 00:30:47,177
in public, she would cease to
entertain affection for him.
461
00:30:47,260 --> 00:30:49,854
In the event, for example, of his
failing to please the audience on Tuesday
462
00:30:49,940 --> 00:30:52,135
with his singing.
463
00:30:52,220 --> 00:30:55,815
By Jove! You mean, if he gets the
bird, all will be off.
464
00:30:55,900 --> 00:30:59,415
I should be greatly surprised if this
were not so, sir.
465
00:31:05,060 --> 00:31:07,972
Yes, but we cannot leave this thing to
chance, Jeeves.
466
00:31:12,420 --> 00:31:15,093
We need not leave it entirely to luck,
sir.
467
00:31:15,180 --> 00:31:18,809
If Mr Glossop were to sing Sonny Boy
after you too had sung Sonny Boy,
468
00:31:18,900 --> 00:31:22,210
I fancy the audience would have lost
their taste for that particular song
469
00:31:22,300 --> 00:31:26,498
- and would respond warmly, I'm sure.
- Jeeves, you are a marvel!
470
00:31:26,580 --> 00:31:29,094
Thank you, madam.
471
00:31:34,580 --> 00:31:36,855
Jeeves, you are an ass!
472
00:31:36,940 --> 00:31:41,730
Me, sing Sonny Boy at one of Beefy
Bingham's entertainments?
473
00:31:43,020 --> 00:31:45,011
Mr Wooster has a pleasant light
baritone. He often uses it about the flat.
474
00:31:45,100 --> 00:31:49,730
Bertie. You'll sing it.
475
00:31:57,060 --> 00:31:59,779
And like it.
476
00:31:59,860 --> 00:32:01,896
♪ England, England, England!
477
00:32:02,340 --> 00:32:05,059
♪ Like heroes, played their part!
478
00:32:05,140 --> 00:32:07,176
- ♪ England, England, England! - Do us
a favour and drop dead!
479
00:32:07,660 --> 00:32:10,936
Not a large gathering, sir, but
enthusiastically partisan.
480
00:32:11,420 --> 00:32:16,016
Oh, you here, Jeeves?
481
00:32:16,100 --> 00:32:17,294
Indeed, sir. I've been present since
the commencement.
482
00:32:17,380 --> 00:32:21,658
- Any casualties yet? - Oh, no, sir.
483
00:32:22,500 --> 00:32:26,095
- So I'll be the first, will I? - By
no means, sir.
484
00:32:27,580 --> 00:32:30,253
I anticipate that you will be well
received.
485
00:32:31,180 --> 00:32:37,096
Do you suppose when Tuppy Glossop hears
me sing that dashed song,
486
00:32:38,220 --> 00:32:41,371
he'll just stroll on a moment later
and sing it too?
487
00:32:41,940 --> 00:32:48,209
- Mr Glossop will not hear you, sir. -
Eh?
488
00:32:49,860 --> 00:32:52,499
Ahem. At my advice he has stepped
across the road to the Dog And Duck
489
00:32:52,580 --> 00:32:58,337
and intends to remain there until it is
time for him to appear on stage.
490
00:32:59,580 --> 00:33:01,616
- Get off! - Oh.
491
00:33:01,700 --> 00:33:05,249
♪ ..Is a name that the world repeats ♪
492
00:33:10,000 --> 00:33:13,834
Thank you, Mr Simpson, thank you.
493
00:33:13,920 --> 00:33:15,751
And now, an old friend of mine who's
here to entertain us, Mr Bertie Wooster!
494
00:33:15,840 --> 00:33:19,628
♪ Climb upon my knee, Sonny Boy
495
00:33:19,720 --> 00:33:22,154
♪ You are only three, Sonny Boy
496
00:33:22,240 --> 00:33:25,994
♪ You've no way of knowing
497
00:33:26,080 --> 00:33:28,389
♪ I... I've no way of showing
498
00:33:28,480 --> 00:33:33,838
♪ What you mean to me, Sonny Boy ♪
499
00:33:33,920 --> 00:33:38,516
- My dog sings better than that. - ♪
When there are grey skies
500
00:33:38,600 --> 00:33:41,751
♪ I don't mind those grey skies ♪
501
00:33:41,840 --> 00:33:45,549
♪ You make them blue, Sonny Boy ♪
502
00:33:45,640 --> 00:33:53,593
Oh, go away!
503
00:33:55,520 --> 00:33:57,476
♪ Friends may forsake me
504
00:34:20,680 --> 00:34:23,194
♪ Let them all forsake me
505
00:34:25,640 --> 00:34:27,870
♪ You'll pull me through, Sonny Boy
506
00:34:32,560 --> 00:34:35,154
♪ You're sent from... heaven and I know your
worth
507
00:34:35,240 --> 00:34:37,276
♪ You've made a heaven ♪
508
00:34:37,360 --> 00:34:39,555
♪ You are a da-da-da-da-doo
509
00:34:42,720 --> 00:34:45,154
♪ La-la-la-la hm-hm-hm-hm ♪
510
00:34:45,240 --> 00:34:48,312
- Time, Mr Glossop, sir. - Thank you, Jeeves.
511
00:34:48,400 --> 00:34:49,719
♪ The angels grew lonely
512
00:34:49,800 --> 00:34:51,756
♪ Took you because they were lonely
513
00:34:53,880 --> 00:34:56,189
♪ Now I'm lonely too, Sonny Boy ♪
514
00:34:56,280 --> 00:34:59,511
And now, a real treat, someone who's become
very familiar to us
515
00:35:00,560 --> 00:35:04,553
at the cribbage board over the past weeks, but
now he's going to sing for us,
516
00:35:04,640 --> 00:35:06,596
mr Hildebrand Glossop!
517
00:35:06,680 --> 00:35:10,878
Mr Glossop has also helped us with the Ping-Pong.
518
00:35:10,960 --> 00:35:14,430
Most professionally performed, if I may say
so, sir.
519
00:35:26,880 --> 00:35:31,032
You may, Jeeves, you may.
520
00:35:31,120 --> 00:35:34,396
But the bird was hovering in the air. I could
feel the beating of its wings.
521
00:35:34,480 --> 00:35:37,756
I fancy the audience may have lost their taste
for this particular melody, sir.
522
00:35:37,840 --> 00:35:39,751
- Eh? - I should have mentioned it earlier,
523
00:35:39,840 --> 00:35:42,195
but the song was performed twice before you
arrived.
524
00:35:42,280 --> 00:35:43,508
Do you mean to tell me that you deliberately...
525
00:35:45,120 --> 00:35:49,432
I think Mr Glossop is about to begin, sir.
526
00:35:49,520 --> 00:35:52,796
♪ Climb upon my knee, Sonny Boy
527
00:35:52,880 --> 00:35:55,758
♪ You are only three, Sonny Boy
528
00:35:55,840 --> 00:36:01,073
♪ There's no way of knowing You've no way of
showing
529
00:36:01,160 --> 00:36:06,154
♪ What you mean to me, Sonny Boy.
530
00:36:06,240 --> 00:36:09,516
♪ When there are grey skies, I don't mind
grey skies
531
00:36:09,600 --> 00:36:12,637
♪ You make them blue, Sonny Boy! ♪
532
00:36:12,720 --> 00:36:17,714
Get them off! For God's sake!
533
00:36:17,800 --> 00:36:19,870
This isn't fair! This just isn't fair!
534
00:36:19,960 --> 00:36:23,191
- The surgeon's knife, eh, Jeeves? - Precisely,
sir.
535
00:36:23,280 --> 00:36:26,670
Yes, I think we may definitely consider the
Glossop-Bellinger romance off.
536
00:36:26,760 --> 00:36:29,320
Now the next item on the programme was to have
been songs
537
00:36:29,400 --> 00:36:33,996
by Miss Cora Bellinger, the well-known operatic
soprano.
538
00:36:34,080 --> 00:36:36,036
Now, I've just received a telephone message
from Miss Bellinger,
539
00:36:37,520 --> 00:36:41,308
saying that her car has broken down.
540
00:36:42,360 --> 00:36:48,037
Now, she is, however, on her way in a cab and
will arrive shortly.
541
00:36:48,120 --> 00:36:51,430
In the meantime, perhaps our old friend Mr
Enoch Simpson...
542
00:36:53,680 --> 00:36:57,434
- Jeeves, she wasn't even here! - Ahem. So it
would seem, sir.
543
00:36:57,520 --> 00:36:59,909
So she never saw Tuppy's Waterloo. This whole
agony has been for nothing.
544
00:37:00,000 --> 00:37:02,833
- Most unfortunate, sir. - Well, I'm going
home, Jeeves.
545
00:37:02,920 --> 00:37:09,234
Never, never, never involve me in one of your
schemes again.
546
00:37:09,320 --> 00:37:12,312
Very good, sir. With your permission, sir,
547
00:37:12,400 --> 00:37:14,994
I would like to witness the remainder of the
entertainment.
548
00:37:15,080 --> 00:37:19,631
Well, rather you than me, Jeeves. Personally
my heart has turned to stone.
549
00:37:19,720 --> 00:37:23,349
- May I, sir? - Yes.
550
00:37:24,960 --> 00:37:27,793
♪ He was proud and his face had stance ♪
551
00:37:28,840 --> 00:37:31,115
- Mr Jeeves. - Good evening, madam.
552
00:37:31,200 --> 00:37:34,431
This way.
553
00:37:34,520 --> 00:37:36,317
Miss Bellinger, I'm so glad you could make it.
554
00:37:37,280 --> 00:37:39,157
Yes, yes, thank you Mr Simpson, thank you!
555
00:37:39,240 --> 00:37:42,676
And, er, now, and well worth waiting for,
556
00:37:42,760 --> 00:37:45,991
I'm sure you'll agree, Miss Cora Bellinger!
557
00:37:46,080 --> 00:37:48,071
♪ Climb upon my knee, Sonny Boy
558
00:37:48,160 --> 00:37:50,879
oh! Oh!
559
00:37:50,960 --> 00:37:55,715
You know, Jeeves, I had one of the rummiest
phone calls
560
00:37:55,800 --> 00:37:59,031
in a lifetime of rummy phone calls last night.
561
00:37:59,120 --> 00:38:03,193
- Indeed, sir? - From my Aunt Dahlia.
562
00:38:03,280 --> 00:38:05,396
She said Tuppy was there with Angela,
563
00:38:05,480 --> 00:38:09,314
and it's over between him and Miss Bellinger.
564
00:38:09,400 --> 00:38:12,233
I confess that I had anticipated some such
eventuality, sir.
565
00:38:12,320 --> 00:38:15,312
Eh?
566
00:38:15,400 --> 00:38:17,516
The thought came to me when Miss Bellinger
struck Mr Glossop in the eye.
567
00:38:17,600 --> 00:38:23,232
What on earth did she do that for?
568
00:38:23,320 --> 00:38:27,757
I fancy she was upset, sir, at the vigour
with which the audience
569
00:38:27,840 --> 00:38:33,631
expressed their disapproval of her choice
of song.
570
00:38:33,720 --> 00:38:35,119
Now, Jeeves, you're not going to tell me
that Miss Bellinger sang Sonny Boy too?
571
00:38:35,200 --> 00:38:37,270
Yes, sir.
572
00:38:38,640 --> 00:38:41,632
Well, what an extraordinary coincidence!
573
00:38:41,720 --> 00:38:47,590
Er, not entirely, sir. I took the liberty
of accosting Miss Bellinger on her arrival
574
00:38:47,680 --> 00:38:51,753
at the hall and saying that Mr Glossop had
requested that she sing Sonny Boy
575
00:38:51,840 --> 00:38:53,671
as a particular favour to him, sir.
576
00:39:00,640 --> 00:39:04,235
- I say, Jeeves! - Precisely, sir.
577
00:39:13,160 --> 00:39:16,550
She supposed that she had been the victim
of a practical pleasantry.
578
00:39:21,920 --> 00:39:25,629
She took it hard, sir.
579
00:39:27,800 --> 00:39:31,076
- Good heavens, Jeeves! - Shall I run your
bath, sir?
580
00:39:31,160 --> 00:39:33,037
Thank you, Jeeves, yes.
581
00:39:33,120 --> 00:39:36,237
- Oh, Jeeves... - Yes, sir?
582
00:39:36,320 --> 00:39:38,390
Those plus sixes, Jeeves. Get rid of them,
will you?
583
00:39:38,480 --> 00:39:41,790
Thank you, sir. it will be a wrench at first,
but you'll feel better for it.